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Register at http://aptpluslearning360.eventbrite.com/.

The weekends were the hardest.  When the lactation consultants were gone for the weekend, it seemed that he would always change his routine.  All I could do was pray for Monday at 9:00 a.m. so I could weigh him and get suggestions from the lactation consultant.

He usually gained another seven to ten ounces despite our difficult weekend.  Our issues always seemed trivial in comparison to some of the women.  I always felt bad that some of the babies had not gained anything or they had lost weight.  Some of the moms were having problems getting the babies to latch on.

Once we moved to formula and then to solids, he ate everything in sight.  Today, more than three years later, he is still eating us out of house and home.  He is 37 lbs of  solid muscle.  I can barely pick him up.  Motherhood involved sacrificing my back, left shoulder and arches years ago, but I still try to pick him up.

I began by preparing dinner once day per month at a local shelter for women and children. That has been a very satisfying experience. On several occasions, I was accompanied by one or more of my twenty-something children. They loved it. My 13 year old niece reluctantly went with me on one of these times of service. She was surprised at how gratifying it was. My 17 year old niece was required by her school to do community service in order to graduate. She so enjoyed living and working with the children at a camp for children with special needs. She plans to do it again next summer just for the joy of it. She bonded with several of the children and wants to remain in their lives.

This summer I found myself volunteering at four different camps. I have noticed that in each instance, other volunteers brought their teenage children along. I realize that part of the motivation in the summer is that the kids need to be “somewhere” so they might as well follow the mothers to volunteer. However, the other motivation must be how rewarding it is to see your children/teens doing something totally unselfish in the “I-Me-My” world that our children live in.

I noticed back during the winter holiday season that many people put money in their children’s hands to put in the red buckets outside of department stores. What a wonderful way to get even toddlers into the habit of giving.

With all of the problems that we have experienced over the past decade: tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes, wars…etc. we can find some redemption in the fact that more of us are sharing the blessings of benevolence with our children. Teachers are encouraging their classes to collect money, prepare gifts, write letters and serve in other ways. Following up with these lessons at home by allowing our children to see us “paying-it-forward” unites is in a way that should make us all very proud.

By Rita Collins.

Let me recommend a few things in preparing your teen for a successful job search.

Freshman Year or the Summer After

1) Check to see if freshmen can register for the career center.  It is a good idea to start developing a relationship with it. There are interest inventories and tools to begin building a career profile.   It can help with an appropriate resume for this stage of their career and to identify strengths.

2) While job searching, suggest instead of saying, “I’ll do anything” to highlight a few of their strengths. For example, my cousin has been honored in journalism, speech and is a collegiate athlete. Her resume informed me that she also participated in community outreach with her team. I asked if she liked working with kids. I marketed her as a tutor, coach or mommy’s helper for the summer.

3) Make sure they network anytime they are at home from school or keep in touch with teachers, friends and relatives via email with updates.  They should announce when they will be home and even stop by and visit people. It isn’t too early to announce during winter break that they will need a job for the summer. I suggest keeping a list of contacts or using an excel spreadsheet. Once they get to the junior and senior level, they might want to look for jobs or internships in other cities.

4) Don’t simply reply upon electronic communication.  When they start getting responses, I recommend sending an email response if potential employers emailed them. If employers leave phone numbers call them.  I suggest both an email and call.  It helps busy people to keep your child in their radar.  Not everyone has a blackberry.  I am not one who texts so I won’t respond to someone via text messaging.  However, if an employer sends a text, it is appropriate to text back.

5) Don’t forget to have them say, “thank you.”  Many people recommend a handwritten note.  I am happy with an email acknowledgment or a phone call.  An update from time to time is nice too.

I advertised for my cousin on Facebook, and contacted people directly. I also had her send text messages to family members who prefer to communicate via text message. We had a good response. We are waiting to hear about a couple of positions for which she has interviewed. Please share success stories you have had in landing your summer job.

Bettina Byrd-Giles worked as a university administrator  for 18 years.  For help with college preparation and career development, please contact her at thebyrdsnestllc@bellsouth.net.

She is not the only person who has said something that kinda irritated me. One time someone asked was I James’ grandmother.  Not only do people say obnoxious things, the AMA literature from the doctor’s office is not supportive.  I realize they want you to be aware of risks of having a baby after 35, but I don’t recall any POSITIVE examples of AMA births.  Had I not been surrounded by women who had children well into their 40′s, I would have lost my mind.  Though age was my only risk factor, I endured genetic testing and months of worry.

We delayed childbirth on purpose.   Well, I actually had not planned to be a mom, but I was excited and scared when I found out I was pregnant.  I have many friends, most of whom are African American, who found after graduate school and climbing the corporate ladder that finding a suitable mate was much more challenging than they expected. Many women who have not had kids feel inspired to know that it is still possible to have a healthy baby and mom past the 35 mark.

I must admit that I get tired easily. My mom claims that with my son’s energy level I would have felt that way in my 20′s too.  Anyway,  I am aware of a 10 – 15 year age difference between me and other moms at birthday parties or the park.  However, I also meet moms that are close to my age.  Keep hope alive moms and don’t rush into any decisions.

Despite my complaints and reservations, I am enjoying life with Big and Lil James.   Does anyone have any encouraging stories about childbirth after 35?

One of my friends who would be classified as a Diva was my idol regarding incorporating motherhood into her life.  She never let any of the places that were not deemed child friendly stop her.  Her son was likely to show up in places that college students and young professionals frequented to escape family and signs of responsibility.  It was funny to see her attempting to get the stroller into places that just weren’t suited for children.

Now that I am a mom and addicted to certain types of food, I too find myself in a dilemma regarding where to take my son.  Most of the places that I like to go to are not equipped with high chairs and if they have kid menus, I have never noticed.  Many of the places are small and intimate.  You get to know the other patrons really quickly as you will probably end up rubbing elbows.  At first I was concerned.  However, many of these places are locally owned and have a high level of customer service.  I am not sure what their policies are, but they are both child, pregnant and nursing mom friendly.

While on maternity leave, every evening when my husband came home from work, I escaped to a couple of different places to find hot food and a good cup of hot caffeine free tea.  Joe Muggs was one of my favorites.  Well after daily and weekly visits to my wonderful little places, they began to get to know me and my son.  On occasion they would add a little extra food and on the few occasions that I escaped by myself, they always asked about my son.

When I was nursing, it took my son 45 minutes to an hour to eat.  By the time he finished it was time to eat again an hour or two later.  Well, one of my friends was celebrating his birthday at Café Dupont.  My son was still small enough to rest in a sling so it was easy to cart him around.  However, the lunch took longer than expected.  The restaurant wasn’t near any of my usual nursing spaces.  I had not perfected nursing out in the open so I decided to go home.  I had the staff pack up my lunch so that I could  leave.  One of the staff members heard me telling a friend my plans and said, “You don’t have to leave.  If the owner’s wife were here, she would want you to feel free to nurse.”  They found a private space for me. My son and I were able to join the party again and I was able to sit eat.

On one particular day, I was really craving one of my favorite dishes from Homewood Gourmet.  When I got to the cafe, it was closed.  The staff was preparing for a major event.  I said O.K. no problem and sat down and began to sob.  Now this is an unusual occurrence, especially in public.  They were so sweet.  They just continued to pack the catering van.  They just let me sob in the corner and all of a sudden my dish appeared.  They are usually closed by the time I get home from work so the only time I could get there was on Saturday.  One of the members of the staff remembered that we live near each other.  She offered to bring me food on her way home anytime I needed it.

1. It’s normal for breastfeeding to hurt. This is not true! The reason breastfeeding tends to hurt especially in the first few days is improper latch. If a baby has a poor latch she cannot get mother’s milk which causes her to keep sucking. Nursing on an improper latch will make anyone want to stop breastfeeding. The lactation consultant at the hospital is available to show how to properly latch the baby. Also, there are tons of books and videos that show proper latching techniques.

2. The baby is not getting enough milk. During the first 3 days of nursing, mothers produce a white substance called colostrum. Colostrum contains numerous antibodies that protect the baby from diseases and viruses even through adulthood. Believe it or not this is all the baby needs in the first 3 days. Surprisingly, colostrum is very filling to a baby until the mother’s milk starts to flow. Breastfed babies do have to be fed more frequently than formula fed babies because breast milk does not contain fillers like formula does. Formula is filled with unhealthy additives to give the impression that it is healthy. When in reality formula is not healthy at all and has no nutritional value.

3. A nursing mother cannot leave the baby. False! Nursing mothers can have a life just like anyone else. Mothers can pump milk before they leave the baby and can be gone for a couple of hours before needing to pump or nurse again. Breast pumps are great investments for nursing mothers on the go. Breast milk can be stored in a regular freezer for 3-6 months and a deep freezer for 6 months to a year.

I hope these myth busters helped to clear up some misconceptions about breastfeeding. Check back next time for more myth busters and breastfeeding tips.

For working moms who want to breastfeed, see http://80salumna.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/executive-mom/.

The only assembly required of the new goal was to attach the net. The circumference of the goal was much smaller than both the other indoor goal and outdoor goals. The basketball is rubber and bouncier than the Nerf type basketball we had been using indoors. I thought it would take awhile for my son to get the ball into the goal. My mother brought him home at about 6:30 p.m. By 7:00 p.m. he had almost mastered his shot. He was completely focused and kept shooting the ball until he got his first goal. He worked on it for the rest of the night until his father had to hide the ball.

His determination and pursuit of mastery scare me sometimes. He will work on something until he gets it. Then he moves on to the next thing.  He gets bored easily because he catches on to things so quickly. I am afraid it is hard to keep up with him sometimes. His teachers and everyone around him tell me how smart he is. All that I know is that at parties (the only time I am around other children) many things that hold the attention of other kids don’t interest him.

His school is a place where the teachers are caring and highly skilled in working with many children . There are enough teachers to allow a child who gets bored with story time or coloring to find other things to do. The lead teacher works with the teachers in training to prepare his day.

Someone once told me that the futuristic aspect of U.S. American culture forces us to worry unnecessarily. Just watching my son with his new basketball goal has catapulted me into thoughts about schools, teachers , Kolb’s learning styles and multiple intelligences. We have two more years before we even enter school. I had read once that teachers were taught to work with a learning style that may represent 12% of the U.S. American population.

I grew up witnessing a similar personality type first hand. The schools and teachers were trained to deal with certain learning styles. This became a particular problem for him in his high school years. I already see in my son a person who is very physical. He likes to see how things work. He observes, experiments and then masters. He is not particular about coloring or story time unless the story includes acting out the scenes.

I was sharing with a friend, that unlike many of my fellow parents, I am not looking at test scores and traditional curricula. I am looking at the preparation of teachers and in addition to a college prep curriculum, how do the teachers work with kids who may not fit the norm. As an administrator who watched many parents waste money by forcing their children to seek a college education, I am also prepared to consider other forms of higher ed including a technical school or even culinary arts. It isn’t that their kids weren’t smart, our traditional education system just wasn’t designed with their learning styles in mind.

This brings me to the question of what education philosophy will fit my child? He loves music and physical activity. Can the teachers teach him about aerodynamics using soccer or basketball as examples? Can they bring math alive and pique his curiosity by showing him how the tracks on the dishwasher work? I had read a few years ago that Mercedes and the Alabama Institute for Developing Industries had partnered with some local schools to teach practical math using robotics.

I have an opinion about the abilities of the different types of schools represented among college students that I worked with.   I am wondering is there a way to make the right decision for my son at three or five. Perhaps he is just in a stage. His interests may develop differently. I am just anticipating questionable conduct grades and trips to the principals office in a traditional curriculum.   His current teachers always tell me he is not a problem, he just has different interests than the other kids in the class.  On top of that, research regarding African American boys and their needs reveal other types of support for their development.

I definitely believe parental involvement is important, but the right philosophy and curriculum is also important. Do you have an opinion about the different education philosophies out there? Religious schools, Waldorf, Goddard, Creative Montessori, IB…?

I paid $65.  Name your price.